Rick Perry looks like he had a fire on his face and somebody stomped it out with golf shoes. That’s part number 1 on the list of why he is a tool. Next, he’s 5’7″ (doesn’t admit it publicly). That’s too short to be taken seriously, unless he’s wearing a leprechaun outfit and screaming about stolen Lucky Charms – then people may have legitimate concern for him. He was so miffed when Obama was elected (like him or not) he decided the best thing was for Texas to secede from the nation. Way to be a good sport little Ricky. Why didn’t you also take your kickball home and have mommy make it awwlll beddah? Now comes The Response. It sounds like a home pregnancy test, but it’s really quite the opposite.  On August 6, 2011 Perry is hosting a national day of prayer and fasting for 75,000 at a football stadium.

The fact is that an organized religious event is presided over by a politician is a joke, It’s exclusionary, it’s fear inducing, and it’s not going to work (like the prayer gathering you had to bring rain to Central Texas). Of course, Perry is clear that it’s not funded by the state of Texas and it is open to everybody – as long as you’re cool with Jesus as Lord and Savior. Sorry Jews, Muslims, Buddhists, Hindus, Wiccans, and a shit-ton of others. It’s the “you can come but I’m not sure we’ll have seats and food for everyone” kind of invitation. Not that I’d want to sit in Reliant Stadium for a full day of prayer. Only a Texans game would be less fun at Reliant Stadium (until they get rid of Schaub and Leinart anyhow  – maybe those guys should go to The Response and pray for a decent QB rating).

The nation does have some serious problems, that’s not disputed. But God isn’t interested in solving them. He’s probably more concerned with someone like Rick Perry ascending to higher office. I’m pretty sure God is thinking, “Hmmm. 20 million sperm and he was the fastest – I may have screwed up how this breeding thing was supposed to work.” Anyway, Rick Perry now wants to be President. What’s it been – like 30 months since we had a Texas governor in the White House? What could go wrong??

Back to this prayer vigil tomfoolery – from The Response website, “There is hope for America. It lies in heaven, and we will find it on our knees.” There’s another good thing that occurs when someone is on their knees – it’s called a blow job. YAY! Not that I’d want one from Perry, as that would be gay, and for that we would clearly burn in hell… open flames near that Aquanet fortified B-52s coif he sports would be extra bad.