{"id":697,"date":"2012-01-10T18:36:32","date_gmt":"2012-01-11T00:36:32","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/bastardsquirrel.com\/?p=697"},"modified":"2012-03-17T15:27:04","modified_gmt":"2012-03-17T20:27:04","slug":"reason-319-to-be-un-nice-at-fat-chicks","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/bastardsquirrel.com\/site\/2012\/01\/reason-319-to-be-un-nice-at-fat-chicks\/","title":{"rendered":"Reason #319 to be un-nice at fat chicks"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"big<\/p>\n

Yesterday, at Lone Star Bakery (yo, yo – Round Rock, TX – top of the food chain!) a land manatee next in line, while filling her car-door sized basket with lard laden goodness – and taking her good ole sweet time to choose (I was picturing one of those blown-in foam insulation hoses, but shooting donut shrapnel right into her festering gob as a far more effective means of satisfying the end), asking the counter person if the cinnamon rolls have cinnamon in them. A squeeze me? A baking powder? A quick scan of the web reveals that a full pound of quality ground cinnamon is about 7 bucks. So YES, it’s real cinnamon. If it wasn’t would that have meant you were only going to eat 2 of them?<\/p>\n

While a person of any stature could have acted in this manner, only a person with asymmetrical ass cheeks could do it as a fat (but lovable) chick. I hope you enjoyed your duffel bag of baked goods. Love BSq.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Yesterday, at Lone Star Bakery (yo, yo – Round Rock, TX – top of the food chain!) a land manatee next in line, while filling her car-door sized basket with lard laden goodness – and taking her good ole sweet time to choose (I was picturing one of those blown-in foam insulation hoses, but shooting donut shrapnel right into her festering gob as a far more effective means of satisfying the end), asking the counter person if the cinnamon rolls have cinnamon in them. A squeeze me? A baking powder? A quick scan of the web reveals that a full pound of quality ground cinnamon is about 7 bucks. So YES, it’s real cinnamon. If it wasn’t would that have meant you were only going to eat 2 of them? While a person of any stature could have acted in this manner, only a person with asymmetrical ass cheeks could do it as a fat (but lovable) chick. I hope you enjoyed your duffel bag of baked goods. Love BSq.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[11],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-697","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-sitting"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/bastardsquirrel.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/697","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/bastardsquirrel.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/bastardsquirrel.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bastardsquirrel.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/5"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bastardsquirrel.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=697"}],"version-history":[{"count":8,"href":"https:\/\/bastardsquirrel.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/697\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1076,"href":"https:\/\/bastardsquirrel.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/697\/revisions\/1076"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/bastardsquirrel.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=697"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bastardsquirrel.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=697"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bastardsquirrel.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=697"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}