LEO: I was watching America’s Test Kitchen on PBS last weekend and there was an impressive recipe for beef stew. It looked so thick and hearty and the hosts gushed over it. So, yesterday I made it. I followed the recipe to the letter, and at the end, when it suggested adding gelatin as the thickener, I did. But it didn’t work. I refrigerated the whole mess and revisited it in the morning. Then I realized the gelatin DID work. I now have a beef chunk and carrot Jello mold. It’s gross. It looks like a big bowl of that chick Precious – from the movie. Now I’m out like 40 bucks and don’t want to throw it out. What to do?

~ Chef Stef

Dear Chef: Two things: 1) Throw it out on your neighbor’s lawn but be in a crouch when you’re doing it – in the crouch with your hands behind your back dump it. It’ll look like you just blew ass like a rhino. You will get your $40 back in entertainment value. 2) Get the fuck out of the house more often… watching PBS on a weekend afternoon?? LOSER.